Some of you may not remember Saul The Pigeon as he was more of the “behind the scenes” kind of guy. He had focus, you see and avoided the glam and the glitter of the glory days of 80’s advertising. That’s not to say he wasn’t great, he just didn’t fancy all the coke, the booze and the Westminster sex.
His “Curry’s – it hot!” campaign put that company on the map and saved HHCL from impending doom. Saul The Pigeon has been touted as the Pigeon behind the Tango campaign although this as yet to be confirmed and Saul denies any part in the work.
Sadly Saul is no longer with us; he was eaten by a cat.
Way back in the day, Geoff The Pigeon was second to none at conjuring up the magic needed to shift fizzy pop, frozen peas and tinned fruit but his breakthrough came with the now infamous Fiat Mirafiori campaign called “killing me softly”.
Ravenged by alcohol abuse; “we dealt with account management before 11:00 because we were all just too shit-faced to deal with their constant moaning in the afternoon”, Geoff’s career spiralled out of control after drunkenly pitching an idea originally intended for Lufthansa “Lufthansa – Über Alles” to British Airways.
Geoff, Brand Pigeons all around the globe salute you.
OK. Fair enough. I understand. I really do, infact all pigeons understand why you humans would get excited about stuff like social business design. Humans need a frame of reference, you just NEED it. Humans need grids, road maps, pie charts and Lady Gaga; it gives you something to hold on to and to believe in. But, and this is the biggest thing you lot are gonna learn today – PIGEONS DON’T TALK ABOUT SOCIAL BUSINESS DESIGN. We just get on with it. We don’t make charts about it, we don’t go to lectures to talk about it AND WE DON’T FUCKING WELL TWEET ABOUT IT.
Look.
Extending Value - Pigeon Lung
Us pigeons just know how to “exchange value”, we do it all the time. We fly around SPREADING value, jesus, that’s part of the whole idea of flock (which is way better than Mark Earl’s daft HERD nonsense). Take a butchers at this:
No charts, no consultants and no technology, just a simple understanding that that is one hell of a fucking bread roll.
Many years ago, when I was a young pigeon, I used to live in the south of England. Keith Floyd lived round the corner and used to drive into the village in his big white Rolls Royce to pick up his booze at the local off licence. He was a nice man, a good friend to the local pigeons and even gave us free sausages at the pub he owned, which was situated somewhere on the river Dart.
He taught me how to crisis-manage hangovers. Keith you will be missed.
It’s Sunday, a day for thinking about what’s going on in your life. I was out and about yesterday just watching, taking notes in my Moleskin and chatting to the odd passer by, when something rather unpleasant happened to me – this fat bugger came up to me and started calling me a “rat with wings”, and said that I was the “carrier of disease” and stuff like that. I told him that he was a fat fucker and told him to piss off. This happens to us pigeons all of the time and I think brands could learn something from it. Brands should embrace all of the misunderstanding, the hatred and the confusion and, you know, GO WITH IT.
I have no idea what this young lady is going on about. I HAVE NEVER MET YOU WOMAN! But I will embrace it anyway and in the spirit of a social world, where pigeons listen to the conversations about us I shall try to answer some of her questions with a very clear “No!” Now stop talking to pigeons you daft cow.
Oftentimes, I am asked by the lost and desperate of the advertising world “Jamie, what can brands learn from pigeons?” to which I have, up until now answered “I am but a pigeon without a blog and therefore without a voice, so why the fuck are you asking me?”.
Well, I’ve got a blog now and so I am duty bound to answer the damn question. So what can brands learn from pigeons? A fuck load, I can tell you! Shit loads.
First up I’d like to take a look at some nonsense that has been spread by some daft fucker called Mark Earls. Right daft old bugger he is. Keeps going on about herds. Wellie wearing sheep freak if you ask me. No, no, no… brands can learn nothing from sheep. Herd my arse Mark!
Flocking Hell!
FLOCK is where it’s at. Take a good long hard look at us pigeons. When we see bargain food like stale bread, the odd chip or that nasty bird food you get down Trafalgar Square just look at what we’re like! Every fucking pigeon for it’s self! We flock to the cheap stuff and battle for it. It’s war! Now, if you think about it, it’s a little bit like this:
So one of the things brands can learn from pigeons is flock. So stop fucking about with herding. Daft wellie wearing bugger.
Hello, I am Jamie and I’m just a pigeon who has got a blog. Calm down, that’s nothing special. It’s just a fucking blog for god’s sake! I’m going to tell you all what brands can learn from pigeons. Right? Got that? I’m going to bloody well tell you so stop fucking well asking me.
